It's finals week and everybody is busy busy busy studying. Last night one of my roomies had a friend over and they were studying (or attempting to) but they kept breaking into spontaneous bouts of giggling. Instead of constructing electron dot diagrams (or whatever they do in their chem class) they were chatting about people they know, things they had did this semester and other relevant things that good friends talk about. I was in my room, doing the usual nonconstructive activity of "reading" my Cultural and Cinema Studies textbook while blasting music off imeem. However despite the noise level of the music that I was playing, I could still hear the girls' talking and laughing. For a while I put down my textbook and just listened. None of their words were distinct so I didn't feel bad about eavesdropping; it wasn't as if I could hear exactly what they were saying. It was just the hum of words and laughter. There was a lot of laughter for "studying" especially something like chem. Maybe they were retelling a funny joke from recitation, a comical analogy from lecture? Either way all that laughing got my curiosity up and I put down my book and went outside to say hi to the girl, since she was a mutual friend. I must admit, I was taken aback when I entered the common room. The girl, who for the sake of no confusion, I will call Annie, was laughing so hard she was practically falling off the couch. And my roomie was in no better a state. But what startled me about these positions and facial constructions was the fact that I knew the backstory. I knew what harsh problems each of these girls were going through at the moment. And no pun intended, but they were no laughing matter. Despite this and despite the extremely hard chem exam the next day, they just looked so jubilant. And I know this sounds terribly low of me, but I was jealous. Their laughter didn't even sound fake or forced. They weren't pretending to be chill to get by, they were actually chill! They were enjoying themselves and enjoying each other's company. I stood there looking, thinking, that's what two friends hanging out are supposed to look like, sound like, be like. There's not supposed to be this strain and there is certainly not supposed to be any hostility. I must of looked like a homicidal killer standing there just staring but the girls were so far gone that it took them quite a while to notice. When they did, Annie jumped up and hugged me while my roomie apologized form being so loud and "disturbing" me. I let them know that it was okay, that i wasn't really getting much studying done anyway. I just wanted to know what was so funny. But they just looked at each other and burst into laughter. It was that kind of look, you know, where you just look at the other person and you guys are thinking the same thing so you both burst out laughing. It was always funny when you're the one laughing, but when you're the one on the outside of the joke, it feels just like that, like being an outsider. I told the girl's goodnight and went back into my room where I proceeded to pick up my CCS textbook, slammed replay on my playlist and continued the nonconstructive activity of attempting to study.
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